I am...

This was an old post, but I am re-posting it. That was how I felt. I think we all feel that way sometimes.
Bless...

My name is Alexander. I am lost. I am nothing. I am not.
You know me as I am, but what I am you do not know. I choose not to show all my colors because I do not know what shade they are. I am drooling on my own sleeve and no one seems to care. I am shouting for help, a lifeboat to carry me from my insecurities and fear and no one seems to notice. I am not invisible. I am not being rational. I am better that I am. I cannot see this.
You know me better that I know my self. I choose this self-pity as a form of expression so that I can discover what makes me so sad. I am not sad. I am happy. I am asking my self to be. I am trying really hard right now to know who I am. I am a writer because I am writing this. I am writing a new screenplay. I am writing my life on the canvas of space and time. I am riding the wave of development. I am not a high school football star. I am a film maker. I am thinking of the next film I want to make. I am always thinking of films I want to make. I am always telling myself that everyone is thinking of the next movie they want to make. I am afraid they want to make my next movie.
You may want to make a movie. I choose to question my ability of weather or not I can. I am full of questions. I am weak. I am strong. I am venting. I am cooking. I am cleaning.
You are hear to listen. I choose to tell you. I am an actor. I am able to take on characters as if I am them. I am a good guy. I am a bad guy. I am a Vietnam Vet. I am a schoolteacher from Alabama. I am a Mexican gang leader of the Vigilantly Vatos. I am a dangerous government weapon. I am gay living in Alaska. I am Cain. I am able. I am looking for a movie to act in right now.
You love me. I choose to love and not fight. I am in love. I am loving it. I am loving. I am going to listen to a love. I am going to listen to a rap song. I am green. I am raw. I am going to cry now. I am laughing. I am on Facebook. I am an astronaut. I am looking at a sliver of the moon and dreaming of walking there. I am sharing a glass of red wine with fine friends. I am sick. I am feeling better now Thanks.
You might be board now. I am board now.
My name is Alexander. I am somewhere new. I am many things. I am.