Blank Pages

Ready?
I haven't written anything in a while because I simply haven't. I don't mind that I haven't. But it doesn't mean that I haven't wanted to. Before, when I wasn't writing anything, I would just stare at a black screen. Then I stopped doing that and just stared at my computer from across the room. When I stopped doing that, I would just stare at the floor. And so on and so forth until I was staring at my stare. Then I started going to youporn instead.
I have a friend who keeps asking me to write a short film or commercial or something for him to direct. I just think, but I have youporn now. Why would I want to go back and stare at the black page again.
The worst thing about writing is reading you own work again. I equate it with staring at the toilet after I've taken a mean shit. I know what I ate, Why do I need to see it now that it came out of my ass. I know what I wrote. Why subject myself to its stench.
Writing can be good for you though. You get to express your feeling about issues in the world or in your life. You get to talk to an open sea of "readers". You get to spellcheck. You can tell a story.
Shit fuck dick horse shit fuck dick. Doesn't that have a nice ring to it? Try reading it out loud. No really, try it. You see? I wrote it, you read it, I read it.
This is the hard part now. I am tired, I am writing. it's been so long since I've written. I don't know how to end this. Like it needs an ending. Does writing need anything? Do I need writing?
I think about it for the next time I write something.